The Boy I Once Loved Read online

  "Yep, and Connor being the good friend he is, he videoed you."

  Dylan groans and he nuzzles his head into my shoulder, closing his eyes. “Can we stay in your bed all day?”

  “Nice idea, but it’s Monday morning and we have to be at college in like an hour and twenty minutes.”

  “Fuck. It’s Monday?”

  “Yep, all day.”

  Dylan eventually gets out of my bed and he trudges home to shower and throw a change of clothes on. He’s back a bit later in Connor’s car to pick me up. I laugh as I climb in the back and Dylan is sitting in the front with his shades on.

  “Someone is suffering,” Connor grins. He looks over at Dylan. “You sure you don’t want to jump in the back and nuzzle into Ella’s tits?”

  Dylan shakes his head grinning, and he flips him the bird before he turns in his seat so he can see me. “Yeah, I’m sorry about the boob thing and for falling asleep on top of you, and for groping you in your sleep.”

  I can’t help but laugh again. “You’re always groping me in your sleep.”

  Connor winks at Dylan. “I wonder what that could signify?”

  "You shut up and drive," he tells him firmly, but with a half-smile.

  We arrive at school and after Aria teases Dylan about last night, she proceeds to talk with excitement about our camping trip this weekend, which has me groaning out loud. Why did I agree to that bet with her?

  College is non-eventful. At lunch, the lads all tease Dylan about his drunken antics and take the piss mimicking him singing Rihanna.

  “Is that what that tattoo is about on your chest?” One of the footy lads asks as we all sit eating our lunch.

  Dylan stalls in eating his food and looks across at him, clearing his throat.

  “The umbrella tattoo and the lyrics. You a big Rihanna fan?” His teammate presses him further about the tattoo.

  Dylan looks up at him and then over at me. “It’s personal, it has special meaning to me.”

  Deep down I know that tattoo is about us and our friendship, but I still don’t understand fully why he had got it, but then again people would probably look at mine and not understand why. That is the thing with tattoo’s, they hold personal meaning to the person who wears them on their skin.

  The day I have been dreading rolls round. Today would have been Liam’s twentieth birthday. I often wonder what he would have looked like now and what he would have been up to. He had wanted to go to university and he had talked about studying architecture. Mum had already agreed with Dylan that I could miss college today. She is working a twelve-hour shift at the old people’s home, that is her way of dealing with it and well it is better than her using a bottle or four of wine to deal with this day. Dylan is taking me to the beach today. The beach where we spent many of Liam’s birthdays and it holds such happy memories for me of my brother.

  “Hey, you ready?” He leans against our front door frame, his eyes scanning me over, trying to gauge how I am feeling.

  I offer him a smile. “I’m ready.”

  We hit the road and Dylan puts on some vamps for me and I sit back and enjoy the view as we drive. Dylan lets me be, he doesn't try to engage me in meaningless conversation; he knows just what I need and he gives it to me. When we eventually get there, the beach is relatively empty, all except for the odd local dog walker. Dylan has come prepared, and he sets down a picnic mat and puts up a windcheater as it is not the warmest of days. I can't help but laugh when he pulls some buckets and spades out of his rucksack. We spend our first hour building the biggest sandcastles we can, which included a running moat around the outside. Then I bury Dylan in the sand until he only has his head visible, and I snap some photos and I send them to Connor via messenger. Dylan packed a picnic as well. We have cheese savoury sandwich filler on brown barms and cocktails sausages. For dessert, he has done two small tubs each of fruit and cream. He has really put a lot of thought and effort into our day, and I am really touched by it.

  “I have one other thing for us to do.” He chews on his bottom lip. “I don’t know, it may be too much, but I thought we should celebrate his birthday.” He heads back to the car and I gulp when he comes back with a birthday cake with candles. “I thought you would want to sing him a happy birthday.”

  I gulp back the tears that are threatening. We both sing happy birthday and together we blow out the candles on my brother’s cake. I look up at the cloudy skies and I pray that somewhere up there he is partying hard and having the time of his life. We stay here all day; at teatime, we head up to the chip shop on the front and have a chippy tea. Then we snuggle under blankets on the promenade and watch the sun setting low in the sky.

  “It’s beautiful,” I state quietly. “I hate that he is missing out on life.”

  Dylan wraps an arm around me and pulls me into his side. “I know. It wasn’t fair that he was taken from you.” He sighs. “He threatened me once you know?”

  I look at him in surprise. “Liam did?”

  “Oh yeah. It was one day when we were all at the swimming baths. You were climbing the steps to the slide and he warned me that if I ever hurt you, he would break my bones.”

  I laugh, shaking my head. “I can’t believe he did that.”

  “He was playing the protective big brother. He thought the world of you.”

  I nod. “And I him.” I lean up and I kiss him on the cheek. “Thank you for today. It has honestly been perfect.”

  Dylan sits up and he fishes around in his jacket pocket. “I have one last thing.” He holds out a silver chain with a single angel wing on it. “I got you this. I thought it would be something you could wear to remember him by.”

  I stare at him and then down at the necklace, and I fill up. “Dylan, you didn’t have to.”

  He smiles sadly as he leans in and wipes a tear away with his thumb. “Lift your hair up. Let’s see what it looks like on.”

  I lift my hair up and give him my back so that he can fasten it. I look down at the angel wing and turn it in my fingers. On the back, Liam’s name engraved on there. I throw my arms around Dylan’s neck.

  “Thank you. I needed this today. I needed you.”

  “Always Ella, you can always come into me.” I grin against his neck as he quotes Umbrella lyrics to me.

  That night Dylan sneaks up into my room and stays with me. Tonight, I thought I would dream about Liam, about the accident, but I don’t, I dream about Dylan; I dream we are together.

  This morning I finally got my boot off my ankle after six weeks and I can’t tell you how nice it feels. It feels strange walking at first, and I now have to go for some physio to help in getting my strength back. I’m champing at the bit to get back on the bike.

  Kyle had texted me the day of my brother's birthday to tell me he was thinking of me and missing my brother. He asked if we could meet up Saturday and I had agreed. We were meeting at a coffee place in town at twelve. Saturday is also the night we are going camping, and no amount of moaning to Aria is going to deter her from this trip.

  “We’ll take marshmallows so we can toast them,” she grins. “I love sitting around a campfire, there’s something so romantic about it.”

  Dylan laughs. “That will be ruined by Ella yelping and continually dodging the moths.”

  I glare at him from across the lunch table. “Go on, laugh. Laugh at my phobia.”

  “Come on, you are funny?” he says, winking at me.

  I pull my tongue out at him and he snatches it and holds me there until I jab him in the ribs.

  "I'm thinking we should set off about two-ish," Aria suggests and looks at us all for agreement.

  “Can we make it half two? I’m meeting Kyle for lunch in town on Saturday.”

  Dylan immediately frowns and looks at Connor, who shakes his head with some kind of hidden message in his eyes to Dylan.

  “Why don’t you invite your date along?” Dylan suggests glaring at his food.

  I fold my arms and I frown over at him. “For th
e last time, it is NOT a date!!”

  Dylan smirks. “Does he know that?”

  I roll my eyes. God, at times he is so damn frustrating. “Yes, he does thank you.”

  I arrive at the coffee shop on Saturday ten minutes early and I order myself a hot chocolate and I choose a table near the window so that I can look out for Kyle. He arrives five minutes late, rushing into the cafe with an apologetic smile on his face.

  He leans in and kisses my cheek. “I’m sorry I’m late. I went out for a few drinks last night and well, it turned into a late night.” He beckons a barista over and orders a latte and I order another hot chocolate. Considering he has been out until late, he looks good. His dark blonde hair is messy, but it looks sexy and effortless and he is wearing a white band t-shirt that hugs his arms snugly.

  He leans back in his chair and grins at me. "I still can't believe how grown-up you look. Three years and look at you."

  I blush and shuffle in my chair. “Yep, I’m not a spotty hormonal fourteen-year-old anymore.”

  “No, you are definitely not.” He grins as he looks me over again.

  “So, tell me what you have been up to?” I ask him hopefully steering the conversation away from me and on to him.

  “I finished college and I got a full-time job at Mike’s as a mechanic. You know me, I always loved cars.”

  "Yeah, I remember, you and Liam were always tinkering around with your cars," I say smiling at the memory.

  He nods as he takes a sip of his drink. “What about you? What are your plans after college?”

  I shrug my shoulders. “I honestly do not know.” I sigh. “I guess you could say I haven’t thought about the future much. These last few years have just been about getting through each day.”

  “Yeah, I can imagine. He would want you to live your life though, Ella.”

  "I know he would," I reply with a smile. "I just don't know what I want to be yet. I have thought about maybe becoming a personal trainer or a physio."

  We chat for ages about my brother, and we share some of our favourite memories of him. It’s honestly really nice and easy.

  I glance at my watch and curse. “Shit, I lost track of time. I really need to go, I’m off camping with my friends.”

  Kyle insists on paying the bill. He follows me outside to where my bike is parked out front. “This was fun.”

  "It was," I reply as I grab my helmet.

  “It’s nice to talk about him with you.” He surprises me when he gently grabs my hand. “Ella, I didn’t just ask to meet you because of your brother though. I’m kind of hoping you might agree to go on a date with me sometime?”

  I stand speechless for a few seconds as I am not expecting this at all. “Oh, okay, huh.,” I scratch my head with my free hand. “A date as in like...”

  He chuckles. “A date, as in I find you very attractive and I’d like to get to know you as more than a friend.”

  I nod. “Wow, okay. Can I think about it and let you know?”

  “Well, at least it’s not a flat-out no.” He smiles. “You have my number but don’t leave me hanging too long, okay?”

  “I promise,” I reply with a shy smile, and he leans in and he drops a kiss on my cheek.

  Chapter Eleven

  I arrive back home to find the guys already parked on my drive in Connor’s car waiting for me. Dylan rolls the back window down and frowning, he points at his watch.

  “I know, I know, I lost track of time,” I apologise hurriedly as I climb off my bike. “I’ll be two minutes. I just need to grab my bags.”

  I rush into the house and pick up my rucksack that I left ready by the door. Mums at work so I just quickly lock the door and I rush to the other side of the car and climb in.

  “Okay, let’s get this show on the road,” Connor says grinning and he beeps his horn playfully as we swing back out onto the road.

  “Lost track of time, huh?” Dylan asks, studying me intently.

  I nod. “Yeah, we got chatting and I just didn’t realise so much time had passed.”

  He nods, still frowning. “You seeing him again?”

  “No, yes..., maybe.” I shrug my shoulders. I didn’t know the answer to that question.

  Dylan scoffs and turns his attention out of the window. Okay, someone is in a mood. Aria breaks the silence thankfully.

  “I packed us a right feast. I thought we could share ghost stories around the fire and play some games.” She leans down and digs in her bag and she pulls out a small pink box. “I brought Mr and Mrs for us to play.”

  “You do know me, and Ella are just friends right, Aria?” Dylan asks her, his tone sharp.

  She frowns at him before smiling back at me. “You two know each other better than any couple so we can still play it.” She turns back to face forward and she turns the radio volume up.

  We stop off at Caleb’s house and the others follow us in Caleb’s truck. We arrive at the campsite an hour later and find our pitch. Luckily, the guys brought pop-up tents, so it takes next to no time to get them up and sorted. We unload the rest of the car and you would honestly think we were here for a week with the amount of stuff Aria has brought. We are lucky because it has been a relatively nice day and whilst it’s not warm it is dry. I don’t own a sleeping bag, but mum remembered that Liam had one, and she got it out of a box in his room.

  Once we have all unpacked, we head out on one of the trails for a walk. Around us is nothing but green hills and quiet. I have to admit it feels nice to get away from it all.

  “Remember these?” Dylan asks me, pulling me from my thoughts. In his palm, he holds a sticky bomb.

  “Sure do.” When we were younger, we used to have competitions to see who could chase who down and stick the most sticky bombs on them.

  He grins at me with mischief in his eyes and I know straight away what he is thinking, and laughing I take off in a run.

  “You can run Ella bear, but you know I’ll catch you,” he taunts from behind me, and I can hear he is catching me up, so I speed up and whip around the back of a large oak tree.

  "Where are you hiding, Ella?" He shouts playfully. Smiling to myself, I try to stay as still as possible. I concentrate on listening for any slight sound.

  “Gotcha!” Dylan pounces round from my left and I squeal like a typical girl and I sprint off away from him. I feel the pelt of a sticky bomb on my back. Fucker! Just you wait, Dylan James. We play like this for another five minutes until we’re both exhausted and covered in sticky bombs.

  “I won,” Dyl grins at me as we stroll back towards where we left the others.

  “By two bombs. I’ll whoop your arse next time boy,” I promise, grinning back at him.

  "Boy, huh? I don't see no boy around here. I'm all man, Ella bear," He smirks, lifting his t-shirt and exposing his abs.

  I roll my eyes. “Jesus, could you love yourself anymore?” Internally though, my girly bits clench at the sight of that stomach. Why did he have to be so damn beautiful? It makes staying away from him so much harder.

  “Ah,” Aria says, grinning as we come into sight. “We wondered if you two were bothering to come back and help set up.”

  Freya stands there, arms folded, glaring at me coldly.

  Dylan wraps an arm around my shoulder. "Sorry Aria. I had to remind Ella that she can't beat me at anything anymore."

  I arch a brow at him. “We’ll see.” I come to Aria’s side. “What do you need me to do?”

  Aria asks me to grab some of the boxes from the car.

  Once we're all set up, with all four tents up and a fire going, the alcohol comes out. I've been warier of alcohol since I've seen what it did to my mum, but tonight I just want to be a teenager and enjoy myself. So, when Caleb holds out a bottle of cider to me, I take it.

  Two hours later and we're all slightly merry and relaxed. I'm sitting in-between Aria and Caleb after Freya practically sprinted over to sit next to Dylan. She's sitting as close as she possibly can and even though I tell myself it doe
sn't bother me, it does. I want to walk over and pull her up by her perfect blonde hair and take her spot.

  “Now time for some fun,” Aria announces with a waggle of her brows. She pulls out the pink box. “Mr and Mrs. Let’s see who knows who best.”

  Freya frowns. "But you're the only couple here."

  Aria shrugs. “We’re all friends though, so we should know each other well.”

  “Well, except for Ella. She doesn’t know any of us,” Freya replies. Her bitch-stare reaches me from across the campfire.

  Aria chuckles. “Ella, Connor and Dylan have known each other since they were in nappies. Besides, it’s just a bit of fun, Freya, lighten up.”

  Freya bristles under Aria’s scrutiny. If I could high five Aria right now, I would.

  "Okay, Dylan and Ella first. Then Connor and me. Freya, you can go with Caleb and Katy you go with Luc."

  Aria places two of the camping chairs back-to-back and gives both Dylan and me a paddle each. One side is blue, and one side is pink.

  “Better have your game on, Dyl,” I tell him as we sit with our backs to each other. I can’t help being competitive.

  I jump when I feel his breath on my ear. “No one knows you like I do El.”

  “Okay,” Aria announces, hushing everyone and taking her game host role seriously. “Ready?”

  “Bring it on,” Dylan says confidently.

  “Okay. Who’s the messiest?”

  Grinning, I hold up my pink paddle. My room was a constant mess, whereas Dylan was a bit of a neat freak.

  Aria grins. “Both Pink. That’s one point.” She turns to Connor. “Are you marking their score down?”

  Connor rolls his eyes and he nods, marking the points down on the score sheet.

  “Next one. Who dresses the best?”

  Smiling, I hold up my pad. No question. Dylan has good style sense, but I am a far better dresser than he is.

  “Both pink,” Aria declares.

  I arch a brow in surprise. I expected Dylan to pick himself.

  “Who swears the most?”

  Chuckling, I hold up the pink pad again. Yeah, I have a filthy mouth.